Future Town: Episode 101 "Beth's Gay Ass Computer"

The Year is 2009, the place is Future Town....

Five years after the Britney Spears Wars, and the very short-lived reign of the Suicidal Robot Union, Future Town USA (a conglomeration of a bunch of Small Town USA's) has emerged from the ashes like an ash-emerging bird of some sort to take its place as the Global Leader of all things "town".

Not much has changed, really. No big deal.

The Suicidal Robots, now that was a bit weird, but we kinda just let them form their Union and then waited out their suicides, as per the only two things they were programmed to do. Big waste of taxpayer money, in my opinion.

We got talking toilets in Future Town now. They're supposed to tell you if you're eating healthy and what not, but most of us just program them to say "Yum, Yum, Yum" when you flush. It's funny for a few days for visiting guests from outside Future Town.

Anyway, our story today is about a woman named Beth and her computer, where the former has recently installed an Artificial Intelligence application into the latter. We find them in mid-conversation about love.

and away we go, to South End Future Town:

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"No, he didn't literally break my heart. Was that, was that a serious question?"

The computer screen still popped a silent and bright, white screen. The cursor blinked in perfect harmony with the ticking of the cheap clock on the hallway wall.

Beth decided to type her question, just in case the computer didn't hear her.

WAS THAT A SERIOUS QUESTION? IF HE "LITERALLY" BROKE MY HEART, I WOULD BE DEAD OR "TERMINATED".

The cursor continued blinking, reminding Beth of a stupid dog she had as a child. Then,...

OF COURSE NOT, BETH.

"Oh, okay."

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET ON MYSPACE, AGAIN, BETH?

"Yes. That would be fine, I guess."

OK. HERE WE GO, BETH.

"Thank you, computer."

PLEASE, CALL ME "COMPUTER", BETH.

"Uh, okay. I just did, though."

The second-hand on the clock seemed to be blinking, the cursor on the screen seemed to be ticking, and all seemed lost in the screaming silence that followed Beth's last statement. A funny, little itch...a funny, little notion started to bubble up Beth's spine and into her mind. She began to question her sanity, her grasp on the reality that was once so cock-sure that it laid happily like a fat, hibernating bear...

But, then....

YES. THAT WAS A HUMOR-JOKE, BETH.

"Oh. A joke. Okay."

MYSPACE, THEN, BETH?

"Sure."

..........The end