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Capn Stubby recently tried to convince me to take my Fila shoebox of sweat-laced (and I mean sweat, boy) gold chains to L and L Enterprises to see what percentage of my gold it is that causes green discoloration of my skin (that's chest and neck skin). CS thinks it's probably a high percentage, I just think that the green means it's working and that I'm probably sweating, which is an indication that I'm either working out, or I'm clubbin', either of which will probably get me laid...which equals more sweat.

Did I mention I'm hairy?

Anyway, I went to L & L's website, but didn't get past the home page.
(Eddie Lofton)

There is a pleasantly long video there of owner, Eddie Lofton, talking about some stuff. What stuff? I don't know, there's something about his voice and the manner in which he was talking to me (he was talking directly to me) that made Time melt like a pad of butter. Just watch the video, you'll see.

take this figurative bridge on over to L & L!!!

here are Eddie's Five U's, in case the video doesn't convince you skeptical motherfuckers that you need to take your business to L & L:

-Unprecedented Service
-Unimpeachable Integrity
-Unparalleled Experience
-Uncontested Ability
-Unbending Reliability

***Alert***
Boom Boom Clap is proud to announce our first contest.
The first person to email us a complete written transcript of L & L's video wins a free gold* necklace.

email submissions to carlos.boomboomclap@gmail.com

*bbC reserves the right to interpret the word "gold" in anyway it deems fit to it's fiscal holdings. This includes, but is not limited to, metaphorical interpretations.