These dogs are so weird.

Hey, y'all. Check out these dogs. They are so weird. I've never really been one to give much thought about dogs, but these dogs are troublesome. I'm not sure what it is. It may have something to do with what happened to me the other day. I was out at my dad's only friend's dad's son's only friend's son's house when I decided to go for a jog and try out my new smiling technique. Not sure if I mentioned that before, I'm trying this new thing where I smile as big as I can for as long as possible to see if it has any sort of effect on my everyday routine. I've found that after about 4 days, actually smiling at something that normally gives me pleasure has become a chore and leaves my life a flavorless abyss from which I can not claw out of. So, I was trying that the other day while jogging and I came across a dog. The dog was rabid. I smiled at the dog (because I was doing my smiling experiment), but what I was really feeling inside was plain and utter fear. The dog growled at me, foam splattering out of its mouth from between its yellow teeth. I kept smiling at the dog but also screamed "Get the hell out of here, dog! Get the hell out!". A little girl walked by and saw this. I smiled at her and said "Rabid! Rabid!". The girl ran away and I'm glad she did.

"Gimmicky Friday" Friday presents: "Fuck You Postcards Friday"

Hey, Carlos here, with the latest (and first) post in our "Gimmicky Friday" Friday series. This Friday's gimmick is "Fuck You Postcard Friday". In the hypothetical world where this blog had a Fuck You Postcard Friday, I would sit down at my computer every Thursday night, fire up Photoshop, and have a postcard ready for you that somehow conveyed the message: "Fuck You!".

In this hypothetical version of bbClap, I'd give you these instructions:

-First, think of someone you think you're better than and who needs to know it.
-Click on the pic below (to bring it up to Full Size).
-Save to your desktop or something
-Print it out on card stock paper, cut out the image.
-On the back, do NOT write "Just kidding!" or "LOL". Just sign your name, and...
-Put a stamp on the back right corner
-Send that thing off



Then, after all that, one week later you'd find another Fuck You Postcard waiting for you, and if you were lucky, it'd bring you even more lolz. But, that won't happen. Next Friday I'll have a new gimmick...a new gimmick on..."GIMMICKY FRIDAY" FRIDAY!

Porn Robot

I'm paraphrasing here, but we got our first comment since bbClap's resurrection, from our dear friend, Porn Robot from Asian Lands:

The open core non- open core capital right sky, the celebration 您 talent 夠 laughing work surface 對 altogether!

thanks, brah!

Let sleeping dogs lie. Lay? Is it lie? Lay. Lay?

Odds are, if you're reading this, you probably wrote this sentence and are as alone reading it as you were writing it. Boom Boom Clap has had a nice hiatus, and I'm positive I've lost all the readers we once had. Trying to post every single day was not a good idea. Not posting every single day seemed to turn out alright. But, you know, whatever. We're back. I think. Here's our a visual aid to kinda show you how this hiatus came about:

My most humble regards to graciously steal your money

Dear Reader,

You might find it so difficult to remember me. Though, it is indeed, a very long time. On my singular, I am much delighted and privileged to contact you again, after couple of years now. It takes fate, courage
and God's fearing to remember old friends and at the same time, to show gratification to them, despite circumstances that made things, not worked out as we projected then.

I take this liberty to inform you that, the transaction we were pursing together, finally worked out by God's infinite mercy and I decided to contact you, just to let you know. I have conscience as a human being,
due to your tremendous effort and contribution to make things work out in retrospect.
Meanwhile, I must inform you that, I am presently in LONDON for numerous business negotiations with some partners. I just arrived yesterday night and checked into a hotel and decided to go down to the hotel
business centre to mail you. Now, with my sincere heart, I have decided to send you an ATM CARD, to the tune of USD$2.5M, only in your name as COMPENSATION to your dedication, humanity and
contribution, as it were.

Contact my secretary now.
Mr. Bewlschit Gname (Secretary)
E-mail carlos.boomboomclap@gmail.com

You are to forward to her, the following:
1. YOUR FULL NAME & ADDRESS
2. YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER (If necessary)
3. YOUR UNCANNY ABILITY AND WILL TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR DISASTER

She will advise you further about the shipment of the ATM CARD to your Residence Address or Office Address you may provided. Feel free to reach her via the above email address. Your early response to
that effect, shall be admired.

Prof BB. M Clapstein
Former director SCAMex Emailing System
Email: carlos.boomboomclap@gmail.com
ATX

Drugs.

Druuuuuuuuuuugsssss.

Gutenberg spinning like a lathe

THE WORST TYPOGRAPHY IN THE HISTORY OF TYPOGRAPHY!

Just exactly which part of this sign are you supposed to read first? 24 Hour? Fitness? Lance Armstrong? Sport?

Should it be Lance Armstrong's Sport Fitness: Open 24 Hours?

2 Hour 4?

It just comes out awkward no matter how you say it.

I feel sorry for their receptionists. They probably have to spit out that word salad everytime they answer the phone.

Fucking Post #185

God damn, boy, shit. Where have we been? Had a hard time keeping up with posts this summer. Mostly we've been in Santa Cruz working on some new stuff. Here's a sample:

bbClap's Cat

I received an email today that made no sense in any of these possible ways that things emailed to me could make sense:

1) The Subject Line: "Yoo-hoo, I'll make you famous" (a quote from Young Guns or Young Guns II, can't remember which) when in relation to:
2) The subject of the email itself:, something about me and quantum theory and dead cats
3) The Sender: Albert Einstein:, a man whose many contributions into the present social psyche include his current state of being completely dead.
4) The email's time-stamp: April 4th, 1950, this being what bothered me the most, in that, while every other thing can bother me up to a certain point until I can dismiss it as a hoax or a lie, the time-stamp on Google's Gmail system would most certainly not be easily hacked to represent a date that existed before Google or emails or the internet, and try as a hacker might, the following would most certainly not be fucking worth it:

"Dearest Boom Boom Clap Blahg,

You are the only contemporary physicist, besides Laue, who sees that one cannot get around the assumption of reality, if only one is honest. Most of them simply do not see what sort of risky game they are playing with reality—reality as something independent of what is experimentally established. Their interpretation is, however, refuted most elegantly by your system of radioactive atom + amplifier + charge of gunpowder + cat in a box, in which the psi-function of the system contains both the cat alive and blown to bits. Nobody really doubts that the presence or absence of the cat is something independent of the act of observation.

Aaaanyway, just wanted to say what up.

peace,
Albert Einstein"

YouTube Scour Hour 3

Welcome to bbClap's latest installment of YouTube Scour Hour, in which the following rigorous process is applied:

1) I get onto YouTube
2) a few minutes go by
3) depression sinks in
4) I copy and paste the embed code so that I can move on with my life

Anyway, here she is. I get this video. I really do. I understand the choices the artist was trying to make, right down to the sound effects dubbed over. The Beavis thing does come out of nowhere, but that's okay, no less, and no more, could be expected. Welcome to...

Get a load of this.

Check it out, y'all. So, today I'm walking down the street when I get hit by a large piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah. A piece of shit was thrown at me from a moving vehicle. Worst part about it wasn't that it was definitely human feces, but that when it hit the back of my head it was still warm, that was the worst part for me. The freshness of it all, which makes me think, this wasn't really planned all too much ahead. You can wake up one morning, get high with your friends and suddenly come up with the idea that it may be fun to shit onto some toilet paper laid out on the floor, wrap it up, and take it with you in the car. But, it's another thing to see a dude walking down the street, the sight of which makes you so angry that you decide to shit then and there, in your hand, turn around, and chase him down.

I should stop here. That didn't happen to me. What really happened is that IT HAS BEEN OVER A WEEK SINCE WE LAST POSTED.

Summer Fun with Girls and Boys

Another day, another 80's video. But, this one is an honest effort, so watch it, ya jerks. It means well and the chorus is tight.



via awful vision

Vimeo is better than you? Tonight on bbC.

Birds-on-Fire's new show-reel, part II

Birds-on-Fire Show Reel '09 from birds-on-fire films on Vimeo.

Hey, bbClap here. I know BoF posted Birds-on-Fire's new show-reel somewhat recently, but I uploaded it to Vimeo and I think Vimeo just looks better and sorta kinda wish that BoF would stop emailing YouTube versions of our work around to people, BoF, you dick.

love ya, pal.

Anyway, hope you liked it, if you hadn't seen the other version before.

Checkin' in with the Kattmeister

So, I thought I'd do a lil checking in with the "always-descriptive-with-his-names" Phil Thomas Katt, a fellow Music Video Director and (according to his autobiographical time-line on his website) radio personality who once faked his own death in 1986 as a publicity stunt to push his album "Nine Lives" in skating-rinks and record stores across the land (Pensacola, Florida-ish). The Unchartered Zone, a Music Television Show and awesome website, gave me the info I craved.

I found this patriotic (to Americans, whom are perhaps Patriotic) music video that he directed, which I hadn't seen before. Check it out:


via UZ's youtube channel

One thing that I really admire about Katt is the way he prices his music videos. I, and BoF for that matter, could never get away with his pricing system. Basically, Katt charges by the cut. What do I mean by "charges by the cut", you ask? If he has to cut one shot and dissolve into another shot, that's a cut, and that'll be extra money. However, you can purchase the "5-Clipper", which gives you up to five "clips" for about $100, or you can break that down (as Katt did for you simpletons on his website) to $20 a clip.

But, bbClap, what is a "Clip"? Well, I think they're what are also known as "scenes", or perhaps it's the act of cutting to and from different scenes that is considered to be a Clip. Here's a direct copy-n'-paste from Katt's Production site, explaining the five things that a clip may be:

Clips:

-Can follow a story line with actors and/or the artist playing parts.
-Can be cool scenes inserted around the song
-Can be models looking good throughout the Music Video
-Can be different angles of the artist performing

Actually, I really have no fucking clue how Katt's pricing system works. I really don't. But, I agree that a clip can be models looking good throughout the Music Video, I get that, I'm with that. Also, I do know that Katt Productions puts Intro and Outro credits, or titles, on your video for no extra charge. So, that's cool.

Whoa, where've YOU been?

We haven't posted in a while. BoF has totally gone ape-shit AWOL, and Capn Stubby is off squeezing out his seed across the land.

What's all this mean? Well, if it ain't broke, do as the Romans do. So I did, and here is the result: Hello.

Well, here's another video from the guys over at Sick Animation:

The Suicidal Sun, a greeting card series

Hello, Darkness, I'm your old friend. I've made you a present.



This greeting card is for you to share with your loved ones. It's based on a sculpture I tried to make out of styrofoam in college. I gave up on it cus it was hard to make a 10 foot sculpture out of styrofoam when your only drive to make it is the quickly dissolving notion that it may be a little humorous to see a cartoon sun putting a gun to its head. After you've inhaled a bunch of styro-dust and you can't figure out how to make the sun's arms stand on their own without snapping under the weight of its styrofoam gun, you suddenly start to realize that one day your organs will betray you and fail you and you will die, so you then put down your large file and sandpaper-block and you go outside, get a cool drink somewhere, and if you're lucky, stick your wiener in a hoo-haw.

aaaanyway, go 'Stros!

-BoomBoomClapenstein

a million people can't be wrong

what the hell? This video has over a million views and up until now I was not one of them. Were you? Well, now you are:



So, gang...what the fuck is up with that? Cobras and babies? So, this is okay to do? I guess so. Going to sleep now, knowing the truth about cobras and babies...which is that they DO mix. Thanks. Bye.

New Birds-on-Fire Show Reel

Birds, here.


music track: About "Think Niles Drink"

My collaborators and I (Birds on Fire Filmsmiths) have recently cut a new Show Reel, and just in the nick of time really. With bbClap off in NY doing getting his "Office Situational Comedy" on and having not brought the rest of us along for the ride, we decided to cut a new reel with some of our newer work (still has some of our older work on there too).

Anyway, hope you like it.

Democracy is cool

this video, it rules:

High FIve while you Deep Dive, bro.

dudes, bbClap, here.

So, I've been doing some spring-cleaning on my computer. Found some old stuff and I thought I'd share it with you.

-The annual Fuck Justice Reatreat for Attorneys and Paralegals. You going this year? Last year was a blast!

(I actually don't remember why I made this. No idea. I remember photoshopping it kinda, but that's it. Not sure who that dude is in the picture, think it's my brother's ex-boss??)

-High Five whilst you Deep Dive. With your bros.

(This is the gayest image that ever popped into my head, two good buddies or "bros" doing it and high-fiving each other in encouragement. Had to draw it out. You understand.)

-Please, Sir, don't be a jerk.

(hmm, another one whose initial motivation to create it I am uncertain of)